That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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