He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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