i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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