you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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