I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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