Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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