i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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