My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize