You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I need a beard to bite.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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