I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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