Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
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I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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