Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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