Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i believe in u and ur pee
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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