What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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