all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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