He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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