Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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