thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
4 words: hood of his car
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
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If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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