But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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