shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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