Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize