So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
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im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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