Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize