I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize