the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize