On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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