I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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