I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize