but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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