so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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