Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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