Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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