im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize