Sry I called you an 8
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize