I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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