Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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