have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize