sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize