i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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