I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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