I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize