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white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You need a sexual gate keeper
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