there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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