Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Someone signed my nipple.
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