I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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