am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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