i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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