Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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