Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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