As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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